Productive Escapism: Why High Performers Use ‘Success’ to Avoid Their Emotions

Dillon Andres
7 days ago
4 min read

Introduction: When Success Starts to Feel Like a Disguise

Have you ever done everything right—early mornings, gym check-ins, work wins, showing up for everyone else—and still feel like something’s off? Like you’re living life with the volume turned down just low enough that the silence feels familiar—but unsettling?

You’re not alone.

For many high performers, that constant drive to be better masks something deeper: the desire to escape. Not from responsibilities. But from emotions we never learned how to sit with.

This post explores the hidden epidemic of productive escapism—where the very habits that win us applause are the same ones we secretly use to avoid ourselves. We’ll dive into why it happens, how to recognize it, and what to do if you're ready to stop running and start healing.

A person sits on a bench press in a dimly lit gym. Mist surrounds them, with a bright light in the background, creating a dramatic mood. — "Gym Therapy"

The Problem Hidden Behind Performance

From the outside, it looks like you’ve made it. But inside? There’s a quiet ache.

You might find yourself:

Craving constant achievement but feeling hollow after every win
Overtraining in the gym, calling it “discipline” while your body’s begging for rest
Becoming the emotional rock for everyone else, but never allowing yourself to fall apart
Jumping from goal to goal, terrified of what might rise if you stop moving

This isn’t laziness or a lack of gratitude. It’s emotional avoidance wearing a productivity badge.

And it’s more common than you think.

What Is Productive Escapism?

Productive escapism is the socially accepted form of running from your emotional truth.

It happens when high-functioning habits—work, gym, entrepreneurship, even personal development—become tools for numbing rather than growth.

The irony? Society celebrates these behaviours. They look like grit, ambition, and success. But underneath? They're often rooted in:

Unprocessed childhood trauma
A nervous system stuck in survival mode
Shame, self-doubt, or emotional suppression
The belief that love and worth must be earned through performance

Like the podcast host Dylan Andres put it:

“When I was abusing alcohol or porn or substances, people noticed. But when I was overtraining and disciplined, I got praise. And yet…the pain was the same.”

The Science of Escapism: Why Numbness Feels Safer Than Stillness

Research shows that compulsive behaviours like overtraining light up the same brain pathways as drug addiction. Dopamine hits. Stress relief. Temporary “control.”

According to a 2002 meta-analysis on behavioural addictions, compulsive exercise mimics substance abuse on a neurological level.

We chase the “high” of achievement because it’s predictable. Tangible. Quantifiable. But emotions? Messy. Ambiguous. And for many of us, terrifying.

Especially if you were never taught how to safely feel sadness, anger, or fear.

The High Performer’s Hidden Wound: Emotional Illiteracy

My story is familiar:

“At 16, I was juggling full-time school and work, tiptoeing around the emotional landmines of an alcoholic parent. I didn’t have time to feel things. I had to survive.”

Many high performers are raised to survive, not feel. We become hyper-responsible. Emotionally armored. We turn success into a self-soothing mechanism.

But here’s the catch: What you suppress doesn’t disappear. It festers. And eventually, it costs you connection—to yourself and others.

5 Signs You’re Escaping Through Achievement

You feel empty after reaching goals. That “high” wears off fast—and you're already chasing the next win.
Rest feels unsafe. Downtime triggers guilt or intrusive thoughts. You feel lazy for slowing down.
You numb with productive habits. Gym. Work. Hustle. Podcasts. Self-help books. Anything but being still.
You’re praised—but feel unseen. People admire your grind but don’t know your grief.
You resent people for not meeting your needs… that you’ve never expressed. Because vulnerability? Still feels like danger.

The Breakthrough: Healing Starts With Ownership

Healing doesn’t start with doing more. It starts with doing something different.

The moment I realized my pattern wasn’t about weakness, but about outsourcing pain, everything shifted: “The breakthrough came when I realized I wasn’t broken. I just hadn’t taken responsibility for what I was feeling. Not in a self-blaming way, but a self-empowered way.”

Taking emotional ownership means: