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What is Inner Child work?
Inner child work, also referred to as inner child healing, is a way to address our needs that haven't been met as children and heal the attachment wounds we've developed.
We all have a younger part of ourselves that was "never quite loved the right way or the way they needed as a child," clinical psychologist Trish Phillips, Psy.D.
Why Should We DoInner Child work?
Inner child work is a form of introspection that focuses on acknowledging childhood trauma and addressing the behaviour patterns rooted in childhood abuse, emotional neglect, and trauma. The purpose of inner child work is to connect with, understand, comfort, support, celebrate, and integrate our inner child with our adult self. Inner child work also helps us to recognize and heal those unmet needs, set healthy boundaries, grieve the loss of childhood, and make room for fun, joy, and growth in our life.
What does "Inner Child" Really mean?
Our inner child is a representation of ourselves at multiple points in our childhood. Our natural enthusiasm and curiosity.
As children, we are very impressionable, readily absorbing what our environments and caretakers teach us and how they treat us.
Inner child wounds, or attachment wounds, can occur when there is either a traumatic event or chronic rupture without repair. For children, a rupture without repair can look like crying out for help but being unheard by an emotionally unavailable caretaker.
Ruptures also happen in our daily lives throughout adulthood. Something like when someone forgets to hold the door open for us at the store or when a friend doesn't say hi to us when we hold an expectation that they should. How we internalize these determines if the experience stays a wound or if it becomes processed right there.
In adulthood, we have a chance to heal our wounded inner child and create the safe, secure inner and outer environments our younger selves always wanted.
7 Signs Your Inner Child Needs Healing
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Feeling highly reactive
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Overvaluing independence
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Destructive coping behaviours
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Self-criticism and low self-esteem
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A difficult relationship with your family
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Poor emotional and mental health
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Depression
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Feeling unmotivated
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Wanting more and more time alone or with friends (avoidance manifesting in different ways)
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Not wanting to have sex or wanting more sex to keep partner connected
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Sleep difficulties
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Weight gain or loss
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Not as focused or productive at work
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Increased anxiety in different areas of life
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Repeating patterns in your relationships
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Being avoidant during conflict or when a partner brings up their feelings
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Being dismissive of a partner's needs or your own needs in the relationship
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Gaslighting yourself into believing that there aren't problems when there are, or vice versa
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Being anxious or fearful within the relationship; therefore, trying to please partner above all else
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Having a deep fear of being abandoned or rejected by your partner
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