A few days ago I was on a ZOOM call with a client talking about his concern on losing focus and drive for his goals. Becoming almost jealous and envious of the perceived successes of those around him. He felt like he was putting in so much work that there was no way that his peers could be doing better than him. SEEMINGLY anyways.
I asked him this one simple question:
"If you were to walk a tight rope for the first time, where would your eyes supposed to be?"
He shrugged and sarcastically replied with, "Open?" (He likes to think he is funny)
"Where specifically? Which direction?" I followed up with.
There was a bit of a pause...
I could see the gears grinding in his eyes.
"Directly in front of you?" he said hesitantly.
Thats right! Pointed exactly where you are planning to go, because if you turn your head to look at what's going on beside you, you'll risk falling down.
The more time we are focused on what's going on in someone else's world, the less time we are focused on ourselves and our own goals. I'm in no way claiming that we are racing against anyone to achieve our goals. We are solely in the race of life against ourselves.
The 'you' now, vs the 'you' yesterday.
When we lose focus and continuously peak over the fence, we build these unrealistic expectations of ourselves. Comparing our progress to others progress. Especially when we do this through outlets like social media, it is like comparing an apple to a toaster.
Our life's experiences have been completely unique to us. Even if we witnessed 100% of the same experiences as someone else, their brain would perceive everything differently because of one simple thing. What's that lovely word again?? That ONE simple life changing rule? Oh yes, PERSPECTIVE!
Remember this in the very moment you discredit someone for who they are, what they know, or how far they seem to be. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANYONE ELSE HAS GONE THROUGH TO GET TO WHERE THEY ARE, OR BECOME WHO THEY ARE.
Everyone has their own narrative in their book of life. We may think that we know what everyone is about, but we don't. Plain and simple.
"It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."
Mindset and perspective are everything. It can save us from ourselves. How we feel, and react to that feeling. It tests our grit. It tests our happiness. And it tests our self confidence. Our choices make us who we are.
Take a step back and be willing to look at things from a different angle. There is opportunity in everything if you look hard enough. We CHOOSE what we do with our time. So why not apply this time to all those things you COULD be doing, instead of watching what others ARE doing?
Moral of the story is, focus on your own lawn. Water and take care of it. No one else is going to 'water our lawn' for us, so we must stop this expectation. It's your life to live, no one else's.
The only person you are in competition with, is the person you were yesterday. Are you making yourself the hero, or villain in your story??