Quitting Is The Habit You Want to Quit
"Quitting is a habit. Justifying quitting is a skill."
What we practice is what we get better at.
If you practice overeating, You're going to get really good at overeating.
If you practice procrastination, you're going to get really good at procrastination.
If you practice negative self talk, you're going to get really good at negative self talk.
The list can go on! However, I want to focus on one specific aspect right here -
***If you practice justifying why you quit, you're going to get really excellent at making excuses for yourself as to why you are stuck in the exact same place.***
Too many of us have too much practice at this. But here is the good news!
In order to quit something you had to have committed to it in the first place. Which means there IS something inside of you that wants more out of life. Believe it or not, quitting is wired into us from primitive times. There is a benefit to quitting, but we have to understand it from a primitive biology aspect and how our prefrontal cortex takes over.
Our primitive brain thinks quitting is a great idea. It prefers that we don't start anything at all. Our primitive brain tells us to -
"Stay in the house because everyone is going to die!"
"Is there something to eat? Lets eat, watch Netflix and chill!"
Where the "good" new lays, is the fact that this is wired into absolutely everyone. It becomes difficult because we have to train this out of our brain. Even if you don't make a commitment, you're making a commitment to 'not' make a commitment. You are committing to staying the same. To just let life happen to you.
Creating compelling reasons , commitments, or a living a life on purpose is extremely rare. A lot of people will do it in their early teens and 20's. They decide on what they want to do. They go to school, pick a career, decide to travel, get married, or have kids and get after it... Then they just stop. They stop creating. They stop committing. They stop pushing beyond their comfort zone and just wait to see what happens next. Unfortunately, many even stop dreaming.
Words to ponder on - When you've just finished running a marathon and you stop to sit down, what is the feeling you feel?
When people quit, it's for a sense of relief. And most often, this happens at the first sign of struggle or resistance.
Only you know what your quitting looks like... But you probably don't call it quitting. You justify it. Do any of these sound familiar?
- "Uh, something came up!"
- "I was just too busy to finish that!"
- "I just had too much going on."
Lets refer to nutrition habits
- "But its the holidays."
- "It was my birthday."
Here's the secret, when you truly commit to something, quitting is not an option.
I'm going to repeat that, let this sink in.
*****When you truly commit to something, quitting is not an option.*****
This statement makes a lot of people uncomfortable, so I like to use an example. When you commit to a significant other, girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse, cheating on your partner isn't an option(for most, anyway). Its not something to worry or stress about. There are tons of good looking people out there, but when you're committed, you don't see it as an option. It's freedom from yourself.
We spend so much time worrying about failure, that most people just quit.
When you take away the option to quit, failure is no longer an issue because failures become opportunities.
You must get familiar with what your failure looks like, because you've gotten really good at it and might not even see it as quitting.
This is what quitting looks like to some of my clients and peers.
- blaming the program or the process for their lack of result.
- telling themselves they're too busy
- telling themselves they're too tired
- It's too complicated and confusing
The way we solve getting better at "not quitting," is to commit ourselves to the task and remove the option to quit.
I highly recommend that you learn to manage your mind. Notice your thoughts. Choose them deliberately. Anticipate when the desire to quit starts creeping up.
Understand the emotional triad, which is, our brain is wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and reduce energy expenditure. The desire to quite is ALWAYS driven by our primitive brain.
We must learn to manage discomfort, instead of answering it with quitting. Refuse confusion. The thought that creates confusion is always a lie. We need to keep taking massive actions and DIFFERENT actions as needed to create different results.
Learn the difference between failing and learning.
Think about a baby when its trying to walk. How many times do they fall down, just to get back up again. And just a few short months later, they're running around as if walking was never a problem for them in the first place.
- Coach Wolverine