How Bad Do You Want It?
How bad do you want it?
You know, "it." Your "it."
That ONE thing that gives you that sudden "hot hand" clench around your guts when you think about it.
To be your own boss. To have that rocking body. To be so self confident, and have such high esteem in yourself, that you will never again feel shadow cast to your vulnerability when you walk into a room full of strangers.
Now what do all of these goals have in common? They take time, effort, patience, and grit. But most importantly, these goals are obtained through habits. Replacing old habits, with new habits. Our thought patterns are habits. So to change our life, we must change our thought habits. HOWEVER, there is this lovely, rusted wrench, so many of us love to throw into our life from time to time. This is the unfortunate ugly truth many of us don't want to hear.
When we say that we WANT something. To set a goal or a deadline, then follow up that statement with "I'll start that when," we just proved to ourselves that we don't actually want it that bad.
Far to often, I hear the statement
"I'll be (fill in the blank) when,......."
"I'll start when..."
"I'll be motivated when..."
"I'll be happy when..."
There is ONE THING we all have to say to that statement.
Fuck the "when" !!!
I myself, used to find that word trying to run from my lips far to often. The problem with this statement, is that it is one of the most self hindering thoughts we can have, and so many of us aren't even aware of it.
Do Any of these statements sound familiar to you?
"Its the weekend, so I'll start Monday"
"It's almost the first of the month, I'll just wait until then to start."
Or my personal favorite.
"Man it's the holidays, I'll just start in the new year. It'll be my my new years resolution."
Now I know for a fact I'm not the only one to have said any these before.
So this is My advice to you. Just do it. Now, or ASAP anyways. The habits we practice that give us that lovely instant gratification, are usually destructive or toxic. The statement "I'll start when," is Self-handicapping. It is a cognitive strategy that we use to avoid effort in the hopes of keeping the potential of failure from hurting our self-esteem or ego.
In the times when there is something we need to start, giving ourselves the "when" gives our subconscious mind time to talk ourselves OUT of doing it. We are allowing our mind to welcome all those lovely intrusive negative thoughts of "why bother, I'm just going to fail again anyway," "it'll just be the same as last time," "I'll never be good enough.."
And you know what? This double edged sword. Because whatever WE think will eventually become OUR reality. Whether we think we're going to fail, or if we think we will succeed, we're right either way. Giving ourselves the "when" sets us up for failure without even giving ourselves a fighting chance. It is a soft excuse we tell ourselves to temporarily pull us out of the vulnerable state of "what if?"
Let's take a step back and broaden that perspective to a DIFFERENT place of discomfort.
What if.... we succeeded?
What if.... we find our true purpose?
What if.... we become the person we are truly destined to be?
What if... we become the person who we truly needed when we were younger, and can be that for someone else now?
Isn't that a bit of a unsettling perspective shift?
We CAN be successful! But only WE can make that choice for ourselves. The choice to start NOW, not "when." Don't get caught up in the "should've, could've, or would've's," of the past. We CAN'T change the past, no matter how bad we would like to.
However, we sure as hell can change the course of our future with ever so slight changes in our habits. We are our own makers, and I for one really rather not live a life of mediocrity to simply go through the motions of this storybook we are writing called life. What about yourself?
Do you think it's time to take back the pen we have so graciously been giving to everyone else around us to narrate our life and start writing our own narrative? Isn't it our life to live anyways? To no longer allow what we THINK other's thoughts and feelings about us dictate how we think and feel about ourselves.
Do yourself a favour, believe in all that is you.
Start NOW, not "when." I know you got this, but you have to believe in yourself as much as I believe in you.
- Coach Wolverine