I was having a conversation with my Girlfriend this morning about how our memories attach themselves to one of our 5 senses. Smell/scent being the topic for this particular conversation. In the past I had described to her how scent is such a huge memory trigger for myself. I believe this is actually where my obsession with cologne and perfume came from! But that is a story for another time.
She expressed to me that while she was working the other day, a man walked by that was wearing a cologne or aftershave that reminded her of her high school sweetheart.
It gave her a feeling in her gut, but she wasn't sure how to decipher it. The best description she could come up with was "uncomfortable."
I preceded to ask her her about the relationship. The "Whats the why" behind it ending, and if she ever had closure? Or, if she forgave him, AND herself for whatever the reason was behind the ending of their relationship.
In everyday life, we are faced with new challenges and circumstances for us to adapt and overcome. However, even though everyday is a new day, the way we make our choices or choose our perspective is based on the experiences of our past. These experiences create the belief pattern in our minds. Our "thought habits."
These thought habits and how we perceive them are what we base our entire belief system on. For example, this is how many of us develop the belief that "All guys/girls are the same." Because at some point in our life, someone we deeply cared about did something to us that we would have never expected. Leaving our ego's battered, bruised, and ultimately, hurt. This is one major way on how a "trauma" is created in our minds.
Now, as small and simple as smelling a scent that brings up a memory can seem, it can be a signal to something that is rooted much deeper down. Especially if its an "uncomfortable" feeling attached to that memory. Something that we may have oppressed, or, simply convinced ourself that it wasn't actually that big of a deal.
There are 2 things wrong with this.
1) If something(anything) triggers us, it is rooted to something from our past that we neglected to heal.
2) If we neglected to heal that trauma, it means we convinced ourselves that whatever it was that happened, wasn't actually a big deal.
What is the why? What is YOUR why?
Why did you convince yourself that it wasn't a big deal?
Why have you ignored it?
What is stopping you from healing it?
We must look at those "gut" feelings in the moment they arise. Think of them as an internal "check engine light," similar to your car dashboard. With the belief that life is happening FOR us, not TO us, we can explore the lesson that our life is TRYING to teach us.
Remember, life IS a series of lessons. Everything that has happened in our life happens at the exact right time and the exact right moment to teach us the lesson we need to learn on our journey. If we choose to ignore these lessons, life will CONTINUOUSLY send us this lesson until we pull up our "big boy/girl pants" and deal with it.
Why is this important? Well I will gladly share this with you!
When we neglect healing these traumas, they can grow and spread to other beliefs we have like a cancerous Tumour. When this happens, we end up looking for reasons in other aspects of our life to justify whatever the rooted belief is. This can cause us to reflect our own insecurities onto others. As I mentioned above, this is how many of us develop the belief that "All guys/girls are the same." We look for reasons to support this belief that we have, or sabotage our relationships to seemingly prove ourselves and these beliefs "correct."
PRO TIP : No, all men and women are NOT the same. There is only one common denominator in all of these relationships. It's US, with all of the unhealed traumas and baggage we refuse or neglect to work on. Until we heal these trauma's, we will continually attract similar people into our life. This is why we must LEARN the lesson life is trying to teach us.
This is a hard to swallow pill that everyone needs to hear.
Our insecurities and triggers are OUR OWN responsibility to heal and work on. It IS NOT the responsibility of the rest of the world to tip toe on eggshells around us in fear of hurting our feelings. Just because something happens to trigger or offends us, it DOES NOT mean we are right.
It simply means we have more work and healing to do.
- Coach Wolverine